When someone dies it can be helpful to know that what is happening to us happens to lots of other people too. Adults will also feel like this too. When we first hear that someone has died it is normal to:

  • cry more often, especially when we think or talk about the person who died

  • feel shaky, sick, dizzy and frightened again at times; just like when we first find out that our person had died.

  • find it difficult to understand why they have died

  • feel angry that this has happened and want to know whose fault it is

  • be shocked and worried by how the grown-ups behave. Sometimes this is the first time we have seen them cry or get very upset.

  • worry that you are going to forget them

  • worry that it might have been our fault that they died

  • worry about what is happening now to the person who died

  • worry about what will happen next and how long we will feel like this


It is important to tell someone how you are feeling and what your worries are. Sometimes there are very easy answers that can sort out worries. When we worry and don’t tell our worries to anyone they get bigger, but when we tell someone our worries they get smaller or sometimes disappear.


Talking to a grown up you trust can be a big help. They will know how to help.


If you find it hard to say what is worrying you why not draw a picture of your worry or write a list of worries and questions – this can make it easier to talk.




What is happening to me?

Some things you may be feeling (or may feel in future)